Monday, August 17, 2009

How to behave in a movie theater

Newark Movie Examiner Mark Jones

Congratulations, you’ve managed to save up enough money to go to the movies. You’ve paid the 10 to 12 bucks for a ticket (12 to 15 for 3-D, your first born for IMAX). You’ve gotten the most ridiculously oversized small soda imaginable, along with a few snacks that wouldn’t regularly cost you your life savings. You’ve suffered through the 8 or 9 previews whose total length is longer than the movie you came to see. You win. You’ve finally made it to the feature presentation. Then, for some unknown reason, all hell breaks loose in the theater you’re sitting in.

You see, there are people who willingly shell out their hard-earned cash to see a movie in the theater and don’t believe that just because they spent upwards of a million dollars to get in, that said theater is their home. But, there are others who believe that since they spent the same amount of money, it gives them the right to behave however they please, even if they happen to be ruining everyone else‘s time. For those selfish dunderheads I have made this list, consisting of five easy to follow rules for when you’re at the movies.

Sit down and shut-up
It may come as a great shock to those people who have an ongoing diatribe with the characters on the screen that the rest of the theater could care less about their opinion. That’s right, woman in the back row who‘s been repeatedly telling the actors what they should and shouldn‘t do, no one wants to hear you talk. Shut-up before an angry moviegoer gets up and duct tapes your mouth hole closed.

Also, if you decide to show up to a movie twenty minutes late, don’t draw attention to yourself, screaming at the top of your lungs. While you’re at it, don’t stand at the front of the theater having a conversation about where you’re going to sit. Enter quietly, find the nearest open seats, and sit down. When you’re finally seated, don’t try to figure out what’s going on in the movie through an out loud conversation with yourself. It’s your fault that you came in late to the 7:00 show instead of getting tickets for the 7:30 show like a rational human being would. Don’t make the rest of the theater suffer for your stupidity.

Don’t make a mess
Just because there are people hired to work at and clean up the theater you’re sitting in doesn’t mean you should treat it like one huge garbage can. Trust me, the poor high schooler with the dust pan and broom you pass at the end of the film isn’t getting paid enough to scrape your gum off the floor, clean up the popcorn you spilled then mashed up on the ground, or pick up all the half empty packets of ketchup and mustard you concealed under your seat. I know it’s hard, but try to show some class.

Don’t bring small children to R rated movies
A few years ago, I was in a packed theater on the opening night of Rob Zombie’s “The Devil’s Rejects.” For those of you who have never seen the movie, in the first scene, a dead, nude woman is dragged across the screen. This is followed by around 90 minutes of extreme violence, nudity, and language galore. Front and center at this rated-R-for-a-reason fun fest was a man and woman with three small children, the oldest no more than 8-years-old. At “Land of the Dead” I heard a small child begin crying about halfway through the movie. Recently, at a showing of “Orphan” a woman came in with her four small children and let them run loose through the theater, not even bothering to sit in the same section as them.

To the parents who bring their small children to movies that are definitely not for kids, I say this: not only should you be ashamed of yourselves, but also, social services should remove your children from your care. I can’t imagine that the price of a babysitter is more than the price of your child’s ticket, not to mention the price of the poor kid’s sanity, as these films will surely give them nightmares for weeks. If you can’t afford a babysitter, you shouldn’t be able to afford a night at the movies for five people. Wait for it to come out on DVD and watch it after you put the kids to bed.

Give people some space
Have you ever gone to see a movie about a month after its release, in the middle of the afternoon on a Tuesday to try to avoid the madness of a packed house? While sitting in the empty theater did one other person show up and sit in the seat directly in front, behind, or next to you? It’s a big theater, guy. Spread out. You can’t tell me that one row forward or back is going to make a difference in your movie-going experience.

Turn off your cell phones
This seems rather obvious since it’s posted on just about every door you pass through in the theater, as well as there being several advertisements before/during/after the previews that tell you to do so. Still, there are some people who just can’t be disconnected from the outside world, even if only for a couple hours. Maybe they think everyone in the theater cares about their plans for the rest of the weekend. Or maybe they just downloaded a cool new ring tone and want to show it off. Either way, if you’re someone who not only leaves their cell phone on, but also answers it and has full conversations during a movie, let it be known that the rest of the theater hates you and is wishing great harm to come upon you on your drive home.

In closing, if you cannot follow these five seemingly simple rules, just stay home. The movie-going public will thank you for it.

Original Link
http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-11229-Newark-Movie-Examiner~y2009m8d7-How-to-behave-in-a-movie-theater

Saturday, July 11, 2009

My favourite Sound of Music amongst top 5 grossing films of all time

Woo Hoo... Sound of Music in the top five grossing movies of all time (keeping inflation in mind)

How Scarlett O'Hara Stole Titanic's All-Time Box-Office Crown

Even before he directed the box-office record holder Titanic, James Cameron worked with the impunity and swagger of a man who knew someday he would rise to the top of his craft. Today, with a new batch of adjusted numbers culled from the Hollywood record books, he can return to that underdog position — at least until Avatar arrives this fall to restore his crown. But it has a long, long way to go to catch up with the Southern belle who surpassed him.

Bloomberg reports today that Gone With the Wind is the No. 1 domestic-grossing film of all time when adjusting for inflation, which lifts its 1939 total of $198.7 million to a mindblowing $1.46 billion in 2009 dollars. Star Wars trails it in second place ($1.28bn), followed by The Sound of Music ($1.02bn), E.T.: The Extra Terrestrial ($1.01bn) and even The Ten Freaking Commandments ($940mm). Titanic doesn’t even rank in the top five, with its adjusted $600 million gross ($921.5mm in 2009 dollars) earning it a measly sixth-place finish just ahead of Jaws. The Dark Knight slumps somewhere out of the top 25, idling pretty much where it ended last year at $533 million.

Cameron is no doubt brushing off the revised numbers this morning, arguing that you can’t adjust 11 Oscars (versus GWTW’s eight) for inflation and trash-talking director Victor Fleming’s notably downmarket visual effects. I think we can all give him that, as long as we can recalibrate Avatar’s eventual billion-dollar-plus windfall for its 30-percent 3D/IMAX premium. In any case, let’s not even think of the angry e-mail Michael Bay is probably sending Paramount right now.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Michael eBay

Not a big fan of Michael Bay but loved this email he sent to Paramount when he came to know that it was nearly a tie between box-office collections of his Transformers 2 and Ice Age 3. It was obnoxious, self-loathing but funny and commanding. Read on...

Irate Michael Bay Blasts Paramount Over Unacceptable Tie With Ice Age 3

In early May, panic-stricken director Michael Bay fired off an angry e-mail to Paramount, accusing the studio of not providing Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen with the kind of marketing campaign worthy of the most explosive, least-comprehensible summer event movie of all time. After receiving the bad news that his movie had merely tied the debuting Ice Age: Rise of the Dinosaurs in its second weekend after the release of the initial box office figures, a livid Bay once again communicated his thoughts to the Paramount brass. Movieline has exclusively obtained this latest angry missive, reprinted below in full.

From: mbbay
Sent: 05 July 2009 10:09
To: Grey, Brad - Paramount; Weston, Brad - Paramount; Moore, Rob - Paramount; DiBonaventura, Lorenzo - Paramount; Colligan, Megan - Paramount; Vahradian, Mark - Paramount; Lesher, John - Paramount; Greenstein, Josh - Paramount; Cripps, Andrew - Paramount
Subject: New Super-Urgent NOTE FROM BAY

Hello everyone, Bay here. Again.

OK, now I KNOW I’m missing something. I’ve been locked away in the Real World suite at the Palms for the last six days with fifteen Hungarian supermodels and a gimp manservant named Bad Boy to drown the misery of not setting the all-time box-office record for Transformers five-day opening weekend. (By the way, I blame each and every one of you, even those of you no longer working at Paramount—hi Jon and Brad, call me!—for not helping me take that record from The Dark Knight, which I’m not even sure is an actual movie due to the lack of giant f’ing robots.) But now I’m really upset. My assistant just delivered me the second weekend box office numbers (he is now dead, btw. OK, not dead, but the gaping head wound’s gonna make it hard to remember how he got tied up in the back of my tangerine Hummer), and I couldn’t believe my eyes. I see that something called Ice Age 3 has SOMEHOW TIED Transformers this weekend? That is posed as a question because this result cannot possibly be reflective of reality, as it’s just NOT POSSIBLE that a movie about a f*cking learning disabled elephant that sounds like Everybody Loves Raymond could even TIE one where a sh*tload of giant robots form a SUPER-GIANT ROBOT with enormous wrecking-ball testicles. That tie thing didn’t happen, right?

Accept [sic] it did. It happened because for all your talk about making this “an EVENT second weekend,” I see the same trailers, the same billboards, the same 30-second TV spots as we had last week, but maybe with some cheesy voiceover saying “The Number One movie in America,” and that’s it. The anticipation for our second weekend has not gotten to the public. I know this because just yesterday I was threatening to have a cabana boy castrated with hot BBQ tongs for taking FOREVER with my margarita, when he asked me, “Hey, is your movie even still in the theater?” I said back to him, EXACTLY. It is exactly the ignorance of this idiot kid that we find ourselves TIED with the cold, wooly elephant thing instead of enjoying the victory you could have delivered if you’d put in a proper push for TRANSFORMERS 2: THE GREATEST SECOND WEEKEND SUMMER MOVIE EVENT OF ALL-TIME. (The caps indicate I am shouting at you with my e-mail megaphone, because you are incompetent.)

"You all say the second weekend doesn’t matter. Everything matters."
You all say the second weekend doesn’t matter. Everything matters. The first time any studio said this very thing to me was on a commercial shoot for Crystal Pepsi (with Rachel Hunter, when she was still young and hot). We all know what happened to Crystal Pepsi, which SHOULD HAVE been the highest-grossing clear soft-drink ever.

Over the years Jerry Bruckheimer mentored me on Event Second Weekends - he had a mantra - “A studio that does not make it an event second weekend, will it into an event second weekend, thinks the audience will just show up a second weekend in a row, will always be boned in the ass.” Besides my good friend Steven, Jerry has made a lot more successful movies than all of us, accept [sic] for me.

And yes, I know that after they’re done counting the receipts tomorrow, we very may pull ahead of The Ice Ages by a few dollars, and this e-mail will seem unnecessary and hot-headed. Except it’s not, because if your studio had taken care of business, I would never have had Bad Boy clear my suite of all lingering Hungarian models because I was too agitated to enjoy their company. We would all be celebrating a HUGE second weekend, with about a $400 million domestic take, because that is twice as much as the opening. The math is undeniable. What is also undeniable is this sick feeling that won’t go away because I’ve had to share my throne with Ray Romano’s totally annoying, nasal voice for even one day.

I would really like us all to have a meeting about this so we can discuss and generate more ideas for the third weekend EVENT. Maybe we can have Optimus Prime host a day at the MTV Beach House? They still do that? Just spitballing, but that’s the kind of thing we should be kicking around together. Because I WILL NOT be beaten by the foreign gay with the lederhosen hot pants.

Thank you,

Michael Bay

PS—Oh, congratulations to whoever’s in charge now. Goodman? Yeah, Goodman. That sounds right. Just remember what happened to the guys who didn’t listen to me last time. LOL.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Kambakth Quote

Really funny quote on facebook mobile from Raj while he was watching Kambakth Ishq:

Raj Dev Sharma says... 'DUMB'AKHT ISHQ of a movie... its full of just crap.

Raj Dev Sharma says... watching KAMBAKHT ISHQ is KAMBAKHT TORTURE... the Movie Sucks big time :-/

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Shoot on Site

Have attached some pictures from shoot. Couldn't add more as the look of some actors would have been revealed.

My First Day of Shoot Ever- 29 May 2009, Location- Dongri


Keith and I pretending to work


Fired!!

Jugheads- Malad:The most OBNOXIOUS place in Mumbai

This is my first posting which is not movie related but I had to put it up. The article was published on www.burrp.com which I must say is a very good website to find out about eateries in India.

You can check the same article out here:
http://mumbai.burrp.com/listing/bar-restaurant/115279594_jugheads-pop-tates#reviews

I'm not a regular foodie... I limit myself to certain restaurants and pubs that I had a good experiences in and become a regular there. No, am not snobbish but just prefer quietrer places with respectful service.

I live just a couple of minutes away from the Malad Jughead's yet I must have visited the place maybe 3 times in my life. I am a big fan of the Pop Tates at Saki Naka and Jugheads being formerly Pop Tates, my girlfriend and I decided to go there for a drink (dont ask me why now).

We reached there at 6:35pm and there were still about 25 minutes for the Smiley Hours to get over. We order a Beer tower. The waiter's next words just took my belief in hearing the unheard to an all new level. I was bluntly told that I will have to finish the Tower as well as the free one by 8:00pm (an hour after the Smiley Hours gets over) or else I would be charged extra. It was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard in my life. Despite being completely sober it was difficult for me to find words for this. The waiter sensing my newly found dumbfoundedness then tried to reason saying that people stay a long time beyond the Happy hours that's why this rule was made.

2 things came into my mind:
Why does a themed restaurant and bar want to drive out people quickly?

Why the hell should I be watched over whether I finish my drink on time or not?

And imagine the waiter's audacity when he suggests that we have the Pitcher instead of the tower as we probably will be able to finish it on time.

We go to places like this for the ambience, the food, the overall experience and I just cannot believe that someone gives me a time limit to finish my drink. It really is beyond my understanding. The management must have been picked up from a local desi bar from the inner gullies of Screwyouabad. It goes without saying that in a competitive world it's about retaining customers not getting rid of them but these dimwits have other things in mind.

Service was bad. I ordered French Fries and there wasn't a plate for us to pour the ketchup. Imagine asking the waiter at a restaurant t give us plates.

On the food front, it was pretty good. No complains there. But as I'm never going to visit this 70s Indian government behaving excuse for a food place, I won't really get to check out the rest of the menu. Traffic might be a problem for you but the Saki Naka Pop Tates is simply much better. Avoid the step-sister please.

Monday, June 29, 2009

He Beat It!!

I was shocked, never expected it... I put on my television and BBC flashed 'MJ is dead.'

Now I don't want to write the same old things that every news channel is flashing about MJ. Just my thoughts on the icon...

I don't know if he was the most gifted artist (he is according to me) but what I do know for sure is that he definitely was the most popular and influential artist of all time. You may not know who Elton John, George Michael, Bruce Springsteen or Madonna are but you just have to know that an artist by the name of Michal Jackson existed.

He was the first foreign artist that I had ever heard of in my life. His song Beat It was probably the first English song I ever heard in the West abhoring Saudi Arabia of the 80s. Just loved it and was amazed at the video which simply defines the music video scenes of the decade.

Bollywood too was strongly influenced by MJ. Mithun I'm sure owes quite a bit to him. From what I heard the 'Mi' part in his son Mimoh's name is a tribute to the late artist.

In my school days his 'Heal the World' was a very influential song for me. I heard it over and over again and I know those words will come back to me one day and make a difference to my life and others. RIP!!

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Insult to all Maharashtrians and Maharashtrian culture- YAWN!!

MNS has a film wing. How funny is that? I really rolled on the floor laughing when I read that the ‘MSN film wing’ has been angered by Rekha’s remark on a BLAH issue. I just love it when Raj Thackeray goes on saying how some celebrity’s comment is an insult to all Maharashtrians and Maharashtrian culture.

I’m sure the job of the film wing is to scan newspapers every morning and watch TV in the evenings and see if some big celebrity has passed an unusual statement that they can connect to the Marathi man and then push it to be an insult and then wreak havoc in the city and then gain publicity. Raj will be questioned for a while in the station, there will be an unbailable warrant issued in his name and yet he will be sleeping comfortably in his bedroom at night. The spineless policemen and the lethargic judiciary should be the ones who are an insult to all Maharashtrians and Maharashtrian culture.

Coming back to the film wing… I am really curious to know how they start their day. Probably, they make a list of actors whose popularity has increased off late, make sure he is not from Maharashtra and then either wait for him or her to slightly tilt the wagon and then BOOM… the rampage begins.

I am really glad for Marathi cinema which is coming up. Not that I watch a lot of regional stuff, but rooting for the underdog always makes me believe in the word hope. I wonder if the ‘MSN film wing’ does anything for Marathi cinema or is their time and money devoted to imbecilic remarks against the glamdom.

It’s still surprising that these idiots still play the Maharashtra card despite the nation voting against Hindutva, racism, communalism, etc. Another insult to all Maharashtrians and Maharashtrian culture.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Funny Filmy Quote I have heard in a long time...


Sahil Gupta : "How can someone cast Tara Sharma in a lead role and name the movie 'suno na' !?!


Voting and Gloating

A little too late in the day… sorry but I had to mention this… ideally this post should have come two weeks ago when I cast my vote but it’s coming on the day of the results…

It all began when I read on the front page of some tabloid which said that our very responsible and publicity hungry Shah Rukh Khan flew down all the way from South Africa leaving the IPL just to cast his vote. Isn’t that something? I really wish we had such celebrities who would make a difference… RUBBISH!!

‘People expect politicians to solve problems immediately. But it’s not that easy. It takes time. That’s why we should vote and give a chance to better people’, this is what the biggest star in the country said.

Off course, this comes exactly a few days after Aamir Khan also said he came back from the U.S. just to cast his vote. And off course he forgot to mention that he would be shaking a leg for a big fatty’s Indian wedding in a few days where apparently he had been paid a bomb. Yeah, strangely since his KKR isnt really on a row, this producer, actor, entrepreneur decided to make money by other means. Nothing wrong in that, but don’t give me crap that you came from South Africa just to vote…

PR is a booming business… even my Wilson college has hired an agency for Christ’s sake. Thanks for voting Shah Rukh… no thanks for gloating!!

Final Screening at Universal

This video was taken during the final screening of the March 8 week film-making students films at Universal Studios. Was pretty good and was attended by class-mates and their families and friends. Also some members of the cast were present as well. Liked Luis and Sabine's movie the best.

Our direction professor Joshua Adler gave away our certificates. This video was shot by my class mate Carol Bermudez.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Beautiful Photograph

While searching for references for the film that I'm working on I stumbled upon this picture. It's been a really long time since I fell in love with something instantly.

At first glance you might not even think it's Indian but look closely. There's an Ambassador taxi there behind the poster of the foreign film. A perfect blend of the West and India.

The entertainment tax-free movie playing is Jack Lemmon's Days of Wine and Roses. To be honest, I hadn't heard of the the movie until now.

This picture was taking in the 1963 by photographer James Burke. Look at the ticket rates- Rs 4, 3, 2, 1, .50. Simply amazing vintage. Can someone help me with the name of the movie hall?

The fact that it is in B&W makes it even more beautiful. I don't want to dissect this picture anymore... just savour in it's beauty people!!

Added a couple more...

These photographs is copyrighted by LIFE.

The cowboy goes yonder

Phew, its been a month since my last posting... simply too much work... am out of shape as well... so now its time to get back to doing the things I always did... you don’t need to know what those things are :P

And the cowboy is dead... Feroz Khan passed away two days ago... it’s really sad that another Hindi cinema gem has left us. I still remember for some reason watching his Yalgaar on VHS... I must have seen it over 15 times... not because I liked it but well... I owned the VHS and lack of something better gave this dud more viewing...

Gaurav and I had once upon a time thought of one the most ambitious project over tiny brains could come up with and Feroz Khan was one of the actors we wanted to cast. However, that project I don’t think will ever happen. Believe me, it's not lack of creativity or lack of producer that won’t make this project happen but the fact that we had over 20 old timers in there.

There are many Indian actors and directors I want to meet in my life-time and Feroz Khan was one of them. Unfortunately, that’s never going to happen.

Feroz Khan’s biggest contribution to my growing up years was the fact that he was the one who bought Biddu to compose in India for his film Qurbani… His Aap Jaisa Koi Meri Zindagi Mein Aaye was a rage but it was Biddu’s entry into the Indipop scene that really caught my attention and the nostalgia still remains. Thank you Mr. Khan for that… R.I.P. Pasha!!

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Death of a Bookman

More than any other sale, I would always wait for the annual Strand book sale to begin. And when Strand's news letter announcing their sale would arrive in my inbox I would immediately make calls to find a partner to give me company. I would curse the Crossword sales mainly because what they offer in their 10 day sale is what you get at Strand all year around. Majority of my books in my book collection came from Strand. So it was indeed sad when I read that the owner Mr. T.N. Shanbhag had passed away.

The first time I came across the man was at Strand's annual sale at Sunderbai Hall in 2004. Incidentally that was the first time I had gone for their sale. As I was exiting, Mr. Shanbhag in his suit (clearly he was dressed for the occassion) gave me a polite smile and a mini bow. I smiled back not knowing who he was but I had the feeling he might have been the owner. I was very happy with what I had purchased and I felt that he could see my joy. There seemed to be a sense of satisfacton on his face. Here is a man who offers a minimum 20% discount of every book at any time of the year. Now in this high revenue/ profit seeking world seeing someone do such a service for over 50 years is astounding. You can't help but connect with this man.

I still remember my first purchase from Strand. Their sale was on and I purchsed two books with the money I made editing student films. The first one was Encyclopedia of Indian Cinema by Ashish Rajadhyaksha and Paul Willemen and the other one was So Many Cinemas by B.D. Garga. The latter (also one of my favourite books) originally cost Rs. 1800 but Strand offered it for a sinful Rs. 595. Wow!! I had read the book in Wilson College's reference library and wanted a copy of my own but found it a little too costly back then. In this year's sale it cost Rs. 500. Talking about a great bargain. These books are still part of my priceless collection.

It is sad that newspapers donated only a small corner of their sheets to announce his passing away while the Khans and Kapoors and even Sawants get a full page coverage over a stretch mark.

Not knowing much about Mr. Shanbag personally, I felt this posting was kind of incomplete. So am posting a couple of links which might give you more idea of the man and his contribuion towards society in his own Strand way.

http://strayingaround.blogspot.com/2009/02/strands-shanbhag-passes-away.html

http://www.hindu.com/thehindu/mag/2003/02/09/stories/2003020900620200.htm

My dad had mentioned Shanbhag to me once and he was proud of the fact that he was a Mangalorian just like us. I don't know the name but I know the person who is always so involved in the sales (the thin uncle with glasses, polite smile and a soft voice) will continue Mr. Shanbhag's legacy.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Cinemaesque

Now this comes before Danny Boyle tried to show the poverty stricken India in Slumdog Millionaire. My friend Chelsea had sent me this link more than a year ago and I thought these pictures were some of the most beautiful ones I had ever seen. Considering my love for cinema, I just couldn't take my eyes of some of them. Jonathan Torgovnik obviously a foreigner has captured some of India's present day yet to be eventually forgotten cinema marvels with elan. It's pretty amazing how so much of this beauty is in front of one's eyes yet we cannot see them. Torgovnik has captured the simplest thing like buying the orange movie ticket and made it more than wonderful or the classic village touring cinemas. Just check out these beauties and go gaga!!

You can find the rest of the pictures on the following link.
http://digitaljournalist.org/issue0306/jt_index.html

These images and text are all extracts from the book Bollywood Dreams and are subject to copyright.

Near the tent small metal ticket booths are set up. A young boy purchases a 10Rs. ($0.25) ticket to his first film ever. in the village of Palli.


An Usher displays 12rs. ($0.25) tickets collected at the 80 year old "Imperial" cinema one of the oldest in Mumbai (Bombay),


The front row of New Shirin Cinema in Mumbai (Bombay), while the film is projected. The cinema is divided to sections and ticket price. The people which sit in the front rows are considered the biggest fans.


The interior of the tuck with two projectors mounted on the floor, projecting the film through a hole in the back wall of the truck. The films are projected all night, and the projectionists take turns in sleeping between shows.


A food stall near Alfred cinema, Mumbai (Bombay).


Artists at "Mohan Arts" studio, in front of their freshly painted "cut outs" which will be placed out side movie theaters in Chennai. The cut out can be up to 60' high. The cost for these larger than life hand painted advertisements is still cheaper to produce than printed ones. In south India, particularly in Madras and Hydrabad, the hand painted film advertisements are still more common than printed ones. In Bombay the hand painted banners hardly exists today.


Film projector operators at the "Padmam" theater projection room, Chennai (Madras). Cinema-goers became accustomed to dim projection, poor focus and quavering sound. Things are now changing for the better.


Beside the main hero and heroine, other characters carry the narrative in Indian films. These roles, whether father or friend, are played by a number of actors known as 'character' actors. Razak Khan is known to play a gangster side-kick. on the set of "Dil Ke Aas Paas" (nearest to the hart) in "Filmaliya" studios Mumbai.


In the court yard of " Roopam" cinema in Chennai (Madras). A boy stretching his hand, trying to touch the lips of a painted larger than life image of his favorite actress film star.


Amar Touring Cinema camped in the village of Palli, with Kisan the projector operator sitting on the truck.


Young kids pounce on cars stuck at traffic lights in Mumbai (Bombay), and thrust glossy gossip film magazines at them. Stardust and Filmfare are two of the local film monthlies, reporting gossip on who’s secretly seeing whom, which star is furious with which, etc.


Actresses Madooh and Urmila embrace, and a film crew man blocking the light from the camera by hand holding a black cloth. As labor is very cheap in India, this film crew worker is acting as a human 'flag' for blocking the light, where in western productions a stand would be used.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Filmdom lookalikes

Thought I would put up this forward up... old one but some timepass...



Think MJ and SRK's one is the best!!




Frieda Pinto can also be added here...



Suga Daddies

Recession is in and how… after endorsing the big cola giants our top Bollywood superstars are now relegated to promoting ganna juice.



On my recent trip to Kanpur while being the pillion rider on a never heard before LML Freedom, I spotted this sugarcane vendor whose vinyl banner had Shah Rukh Khan and Priyanka Chopra holding a glass filled with ganna juice. Asked my friend to stop the bike. I had to take a picture of this. Everyone was staring at me and my friend… we were looking like A-grade city folk horny for a pic of Priyanka… It was so cheesy, corny whatever you call it and not something you would find back here in Mumbai.



The next day I found out that almost every sugarcane vendor has similar banners. Salman, Akshay, Katrina, Kareena, Abhishek too had joined the Rs. 3 per glass bandwagon. Photoshop has indeed arrived!!

I don’t really know having these stars on your sign board would help on not… however, if my office maid Vijaya ever saw the board with SRK, I’m sure she would leave town in the very next train to Uttar Pradesh!! (Read next posting)

Monday, February 23, 2009

Maid in Mannat

Here’s an exclusive picture of SRK posing with my maid. Remember it’s a cinemacaroni.blogspot.com exclusive.

Ever since the horrendous news came out that the super rich Shah Rukh Khan needs minor shoulder surgery my dear office maid Vijaya was rolling on her bed as she could not sleep at night.


“Saahrook Kaan ospital mein bimaar hai.” Said she the next day in office as she drank her 23rd glass of water after getting dehydrated from the excess tears of seeing her hero on apparent death bed.

Well, our Indian media isn’t really any more smarter considering they too flock outside SRK’s Jannat Mannat to capture a glimpse of their star but what sets Vijaya apart is the fact that she was going to visit Siddhivinayak Temple to pray for his health. I rolled on the floor (which the maid didn’t clean) laughing at her stupidity.

Here is a man who can afford five star treatment, buy the hospital and the doctors and nurses as his personal playthings yet my genius maid decides to pray for the speedy recovery of his Dard-E-Ligaments.

I recall my parents telling me that people prayed for Amitabh Bachcan’s recovery when he was almost dying after getting accidentally stabbed by Puneet Issar during the shoot of Coolie. Well, a knife in his stomach is definitely worse off than a shoulder surgery, I presume.

Siddhivinayak should charge an entry fee of which the proceedings go to charity. I'm sure they'll make a bomb when ultra-rich tycoons complain of broken finger-nails and paper cuts.

More jokes on my maid in future posts. Please visit…

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Favourite scene from Notting Hill


Have attached a clipping from my favourite romantic film of all time Notting Hill.

Personally it's one of the most simplest and most effective dialogues I have ever seen. If you haven’t seen the movie you probably won’t find this very touching. Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts do an amazing job- brilliant chemistry throughout the film.

William (Hugh Grant): I live in Notting Hill. You live in Beverly Hills. Everyone in the world knows who you are, my mother has trouble remembering my name.

Anna Scott (Julia Roberts): I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.

I don’t know if anyone but me thinks these are good… well, I don’t really care. But please please watch the movie at any cost… Whoopsidaisies!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Bhole Shankar special

This is a long posting… if you aren’t a Mithun fan then you can skip this one. Love you.

Wow, what a pleasant morning surprise... I was heading towards office passing Lotus Petrol Pump sans my morning cup of tea. Monday morning blues were closing in but something just caught my eye. You have to know that the wall next to Lotus Petrol Pump and the wall under the Juhu beach hoardings are my favourite spots to check out some ultra funny B-Grade/ Dubbed South/ Bhojpuri movie posters. To my amusement I saw Manoj Tiwari with none other than my favourite Mithunda in a Bhojpuri film called Bhole Shankar. Aaahh… this was better than caffeine and I had completely woken up from a long weekend.

Never did I imagine Mithun and Tiwari in the same frame mainly because I know the Bihar Jharkhand Motion Picture Association has banned all Mithun movies in Bihar and Jharkhand over a previous issue. However, apparently the producers paid a hefty amount to the association to get their film released.

The first thing I did upon reaching office was google Bhole Shankar and I was surprised at the amount of stuff available on the net. On the sets, synopsis, interviews, blogs, music launch, controversies, box-office collections in Bihar, and even anti-Marathi statements. Clearly, this was a big Bhojpuri film. A little more reading made me find out that it indeed was Bhojpuri cinema’s costliest film and most successful one at that too. Phew!!

This is Mithunda’s first Bhojpuri film and I cannot remember the number of times his character has been named Shankar/ Gauri Shankar in his B-Grade Ooty films. Considering the fact that Bhojpuri films aren’t anywhere close to path-breaking Shankar seemed so expected.

After reading the synopsis, the film seemed similar to the Dharmendra- Anil Kapoor starrer Humlaa but in a new avtaar. Post Deshdrohi (Maybe pre-Deshdrohi), this film also has some anti- Marathi statements. Mithun an underworld Don arrives in the nick of time and saves his brother Manoj from getting whacked by Marathi speaking goons (see video). He mouths, “Ek Bihari Sau Par Bhari”… wah wah. I don’t think the not-so-Bhole MNS idiots know about this yet or else I doubt the film would release peacefully in Mumbai.

Now I know it’s bad to insult different cultures but I must say that Manoj Tiwari has just two expressions in his entire acting career. Have a close look at the video and if you spot him in a third ham then I will give you a poster of Bhole Shankar personally autographed by the Lotus Petrol Pump staff.

I really want to know if the invention of the compact disc has caught on in the north… check out the music release picture and notice these guys just proudly holding up audio cassettes of the music. Haha… Look at what poor Mukesh Rishi is relegated to…

The one time famous Shailendra Singh apparently has also crooned a song for Mithunda after 20 years or so. Don’t know how good that is going to be.

Mithun will definitely be in his funny Yaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii best. Look at the pic where the director is explaining a scene to Mithun from a three page script. Ha!!

Judging by the promo, Bhole Shankar seems like your regular formula Gangamaiya ki saughand stuffed with fight sequences, songs (even Rajesh Vivek has a solo song) and a hamming mother. Can’t wait to watch it!!